How Miss 5-Year-Old Changed Her Thinking

Jenny* is a gorgeous 40-something single mum. She enrolled in The Thrive Programme to overcome her anxiety/phobias.

In the process of gaining loads of self-insight, Jenny also started to notice some anxious language and behaviours in her 5 year-old daughter. She’d hide behind Jenny when new people were being introduced, she’d use “I can’t do this” language a lot, and feared heights.

As we know, kids copy/adopt beliefs, thinking styles, and language from the person/s who raises them so it wasn’t a surprise that Jenny’s daughter was learning from her.

Processing your daily positives

One of the exercises during the programme is to “process your daily positive experiences”.

To make it fit into her busy routine, Jenny did it with Miss 5-year-old. Each night they would share their “top five positive moments and top five things we like about / are proud about ourselves”.

They could include a whole palette of various positives! Being proud for challenging yourself, for calming yourself down, for managing your emotions, for doing some exercise, for being kind or grateful … the list is endless and full of possibilities.

“I looked at the positive side”

Fast forward a few months … and this is a note I received from Jenny.

“Usually when showering, Miss 5-year-old would scream blue murder if water got in her eyes, ears, or face. Today she put her head back far enough under the shower and let water go in her ears, eyes and face and used her hands to wipe it away.

No panicking, screaming or screeching for a towel. She was completely calm.

Later I asked her what made the difference.

She said ‘I just did it’.

I said ‘so you didn’t think about it?’

She replied ‘I did think about it but I decided to look at it in a different way. I looked at the positive side’. (Her words!)

I said ‘what was the positive side?’ And she replied ‘giving it a go because usually I would say I can’t do it’.

I was gobsmacked. I asked her how she knew to do this. She said ‘well a couple of months ago we used to talk about the positives of the day ….’ 

She’s not long turned five and she managed to apply the techniques from the programme to what has been a very difficult thing for her to overcome. Thrive and your coaching are the gift that keeps on giving. So a big thank you again.” 

A great story. Both mum and Miss 5-year-old are now Thrivers!

Miss 5-year-old had learnt new cognitive skills. She had embedded a new thinking style over quite a short period of time and as a result reduced her anxiety.

If you’ve completed The Thrive Programme and would like to share how you’ve changed your life for the better, then I’d love to hear from you. What are you doing now that you’ve never done before? What goal are you working towards that in the past would’ve seemed impossible to you? Or perhaps you’re just a more positive and calm person now! You can send your story to

*not her real name